A Jewel in Italy - Several, in Fact.

It can be a hard thing to be in the travel business as a husband and father. When I first began doing tours, I was beyond elated to finally find a place where I could put all of my varied skills and interests to use: logistics, languages, history, geography, and most certainly my love of food and drink.

But after eight years of travel, I began to experience something rather ironical. While friends and followers of my travels made comments of their jealousy at all I was seeing and eating, I began looking at their photographs of family gatherings, kids' sporting events, and such with the same sentiments. I've always believed in the widely accepted truth that the best things in life are shared. While I shared in making great memories with clients and friends of mine, when I dropped off my groups at the airport at the end of each tour, I very abruptly became aware of how alone I was.

Finding a partner was a daunting task for me. Between my international upbringing and my deeply conservative Southern and Christian roots, as well as my time in the Marine Corps, the restaurant and entertainment industries, and teaching school, I was probably quite the conundrum for most women. I had leanings that were and remain both Left and Right, which continue to always pull me into the middle, but from the outside, it could seem confusing. Yet balance is one of the most important traits to have as a tour guide and history teacher, because you have to step out of yourself in order to find the truth and appreciate complexity.

But in dating American women, I was frequently asked the question that meant the end of the experiment:

"David, why can't you be normal?"

And true enough, as so many love to say, it happened when I completely stopped trying. Or actually, I would amend that to a much more positive and healthy position: it happened when I accepted fully just who I was and stopped trying to convince anyone, ever again, that I was good enough for them. It wasn't something that I was trying to coach myself into feeling, either. I had gone through and had enough of the former, after another, failed foray that was the final straw for me.

It couldn't have happened any more perfectly. I met my wife via Bumble, on the suggestion of a friend, and we began to communicate right before I went on a big "Battle of the Bulge" anniversary tour while I was working for Stephen Ambrose Tours. We agreed to meet up for a dinner date when I got back. I only had one good photo of her to go off of, but from all I had gathered in conversations, she was very bright, successful, genuine, and best of all, traveled... and upon meeting her in person, I found her have two other traits any man would hope to find in a woman: gorgeous and incredibly sweet.

We have been together now for six years and two months... And I have not, for one second, ever looked back. I am happily a husband to this great woman - and a father to a lively, sharp and hilarious boy - who was two years old when I met his mommy.

We met right before Covid hit, and that global phenomenon was beautifully bittersweet. I lost every bit of my ability to run tours - but while my wife had to continue working in her field of medical/elderly and dying care, I immediately became the de facto "day care" for her child. It fast-tracked our relationship massively - something that may have never quite happened if I stayed busy with tours. Fatherhood started with a bang, too, as I broke two ribs pulling my son-to-be out of the Mississippi River on my first day of baby-sitting! My wife, true to her tough Maine roots, took the whole thing in stride - the first of many, many confirmations that she had a strong constitution, a sense of humor, and my kind of disposition: old school.

When I started traveling again, it wasn't easy. Never in my career had I experienced the sound of a boy - who had most certainly become my son - crying in the phone to me and telling me how much he missed me and wanted me home. That hurt. It took many tours over the following years to finally create a sense of understanding, expectation, and balance for the three of us: my son getting used to Daddy having to go work; my wife adjusting to my very unpredictable communication methods while abroad; and me learning how my wife wanted me to communicate her, namely that I needed to listen to her talk - no matter what I had done or seen that day.

Last spring, when I was out on my second tour of the year, my wife had enough of being jealous of my travels. I don't say that in an ugly way, either. It is without a DOUBT the best thing in the world that she is jealous, because the vastly worse alternative would be a wife who didn't understand why I do it at all... She sent me a message one evening, in the middle of a tour, announcing that she had found cheap airline flights to Italy - and that we were going.

I sent her money for my flight immediately. Happy wife, happy life... I used to hate that saying. I've learned better.

Danielle, my wife, has done a lot of traveling as well. She began doing mission trips abroad when she was in junior high/high school, and she even lived in Rome, enough to truly fall in love with it deeply. That experience greatly molded her style of dress, decor, and cooking. She's big on hand jestures and very much has a Latin disposition.

She also happens to be an absolute Jedi when it comes to research - something she regularly displays when looking for clothes or camps for our son. She has done a great deal of research in getting her PhD and in her field. So when it came to Italy, and she made the call on choosing a few places for the trip, I could say nothing. She chose one location in Italy I had never been to before, and I must freely and happily state that of all the places we visited on our trip to Italy, her big choice which she lined everything up for without me was the hit of the trip for me. There was a flurry of stress before leaving for Italy, as my wife had made giant lists for her mother and sister, who had graciously agreed to come down and stay with our son for two weeks. Dog feeding schedule, school dress up days, sports field locations, etc. She certainly had to line up everything with work, as well, and she's such an integral part of her company that it was cause for great concern and effort on her part before leaving.

But to her credit, from the moment we landed in Milan, she was completely at peace. She had done everything to prepare for this trip, and she was determined to enjoy it... and it was bliss for Mom and Dad to become a couple again. I had no idea how much the responsibility of raising a child can sap away the romance, the sparkle, and the devotion of a pair in love. I could observe it from a distance with friends, but I quickly found out that I wasn't remotely immune from suffering from the same personality change and important distraction.

But after so many years together, we have come to know each other's personalities quite well, and we had traveled enough to know how to strike a solid balance. It was glorious...

We spent only a night in Milan before heading to the beautiful lakeside town of Stresa, on the recommendation of a chef I used to work with in fine dining in New Orleans. We were there at the very tail end of the season, doing our tour of the gorgeous Borromean Islands just two days before they closed for the winter. The crowds were light, and we got to see and enjoy so much without the clutter of the masses. We settled into a lovely little groove and were smiling from ear to ear. We needed this trip!

Our next stop was Bergamo, the place she had chosen and arranged the lodgings for.

We took the morning train from Stresa back to Milan to take the train to this next location on our trip. In fact, the greatest stress of the entire trip was waiting for this train, as Italian rail is not the same as German rail... We waited, with bags in tow, for our platform assignment. As the departure time grew closer and closer, we began to worry more and more, as there was a lot of ground to cover, depending upon what platform we'd get. Trains departing well after ours were getting assigned

I snapped this at 11:03, in case it was needed to document a refund or ticket reassignment.

But the train platform assignment popped up close enough that we could scurry over and board in time - and I always remind my travelers to only pack what you can move around with, sometimes at speed!

We pulled into the station of Bergamo, down on the top end of a giant plain. It's located at the southern edge of the Alps, known as the "pre-Alps" and takes its name, like many locations in north-central and -eastern Italy, from German. In fact, our next stop would be the province of Alto Adige (Südtirol as it's referred to by the majority of its inhabitants - as it belonged to the Austro-Hungarian Empire right up until the end of WWI. Bergamo takes its name from the German, "Berg" (mountain) "Heim" (home)...

The beauty of Bergamo is its clear mix of old world and new. The train station, as well as many high rises, corporate stores, cinemas, restaurants, apartment buildings, and airport, sit down on the plain. The old city (town, by today's standards) sits perched above, surrounded by its famous walls. Bergamo started out as a Celtic settlement, before being taken over by the Romans in 49 BC, the same year that Julius Caesar and the Roman Senate's differences turned into an all-out war which ended with Caesar consolidating all power and becoming the dictator of Rome.

Bergamo's prominence and wealth would see it sacked several times after the fall of Rome, before becoming the westernmost outpost of the Venice Republic - which was when Bergamo's famous walls were built. It would change hands again during the Napoleonic era, falling under Austrian influence, and finally becoming part of Italy during its Risorgimento, the great unification of Italy into one whole kingdom in 1861. While some might bore of historical dates, names, and facts, the reality of this complex history is that there are multiple major influences in food, architecture, and buildings that make Bergamo rather special. The old town, Bergamo Alta, we soon discovered, has all of the makings of what I would call a perfect European city. It has very old architecture, gorgeous cathedrals, cobblestoned streets (we even witnessed a road crew repaving a road in the old style), and the mountain it is perched on keeps it SMALL. It is not overgrown or part of some larger sprawl. It is intimate and charming, much like my favorite city of Salzburg.

Our daily view on our walk down to the old town, with present day Bergamo built up on the broad plain lower down and beneath.

And my wife chose a hotel on a little hill that sits above the old town, so we had the most marvelous views on our daily walks down into the city. There are funicular trains which take people from modern Bergamo up to the old city, and there's yet another funicular which takes you from the old city up to our hill, but the train happened to be out of service, so we got a lovely bit of exercise each day.

The hill where our hotel was situated, above the old town in the foreground.

We had several places picked out to visit during our time in Bergamo, the chief one being the gorgeous Bergamo Cathedral, the Duomo di Bergamo. Dating back to the 9th Century, this church exhibited much of its rich history and powerful empires it belonged to, namely with the wealthy Venetians.

The beauty of Bergamo is that it hasn't been overrun by American and European commercial chain stores, something that continues to spread to any place that becomes well-known. There were some tourist shops, for sure, but the saving grace of this city is that is hides in the shadows of Rome, Venice, and Florence, to name a few.

And we discovered something together that absolutely blew me away. Yes, we were in Italy, and yes, we expected great food. But we discovered a special dish they make here - an ancient pasta dish thought to be older than the more famous tortellini and ravioli from other regions. Casoncelli, or casonsèi as it's called by locals, is a stuffed pasta dish dating back to the 1300s. Initially filled with simple ingredients such as stale bread, leftover meat and cheese, and spices, the modern version is most famously filled with minced beef and pork, bread, Grana Padano cheese, eggs, nutmeg, and Amaretti biscuits. They are boiled and served with a classic sauce made with melted butter, sage, and crispy bacon.

I tried this dish for our first meal in Bergamo, and I subsequently had it at every following dinner...

And while Danielle had already scored it huge with this incredible find of a quintessential European old world city, she trumped me with what was the absolute gem of our trip: a charming historic but modernized hotel, which happened to have a secret restaurant which I could not even located on Google after returning home!

Our huge room, with our windows looking down onto Bergamo Alta.

Upon our arrival, we were asked if we wanted to have dinner in the restaurant. We agreed, though somewhat leery of "hotel food." In the US, hotel food gets bad marks for often enough great reasons. But in Europe, that is not the case - not when you leave the all-American comfort zone of chain hotels, save a TINY few.

We had a full day after our train travel and first day of walking, but we arranged our schedule and food choices on the second day so that we'd be ready for this dinner. We still had no idea what was in store...

We were seated in a small dining room with about 20 other people seated at nearby tables, mostly couples.

And when they came out and began explaining that we'd be doing a tasting menu - and showed us our wine list, each portion of the service and presentation done by a server or chef who had that one role as their responsibility, we knew we were in for quite the treat!

What followed was the most enviable sequences of incredible food.

From a savory slice of roasted pumpkin with garnishes to complement to a foie gras toast to a magnificent little potato gratin cake, the starting rounds were incredible.

Thinly layered potato gratin, topped with beef tartare and topped with shaved black truffle.

The foie gras toast with spiced pears

Their own twist on, of course, casonsèi. This was a masterpiece and the best pasta dish I have ever had, including some splendid, fresh lemon pasta in Amalfi at a local favorite dining spot.

The richest, darkest, and most delectable short-rib I have ever put in my mouth...

We ran out of adjectives. We ran out of taste buds. We had duck breast and a few other things as well, and the short-rib was the nail in the coffin. We didn't even ask for dessert. We were S T U F F E D!

My wife was so caught up in the mood and the location that she insisted on having a cigarette after the meal, like a good Italian!

And while bumming the smoke off of one of the many great waiters and cooks who came to our table,, he and I discovered that we both spoke French - a massive improvement in communication over his bad English and my pittance of Italian. We spent 20 minutes in the courtyard talking of food, family history, and WWI (always a great subject in old Europe) while I sipped on a silky smooth local amaro, and he sucked on a cigarette.

I went back to our room, where my wife was completely wiped out, smiling from ear-to-ear. I was truly home - and I had my American "home" with me, enjoying every bit of it and going round for round with aplomb.

There were several other attractions we did enjoy while in Bergamo, despite a famous art gallery being closed, but we made great use of our time - not by stacking up a schedule of places to visit, but in simply walking around and finding little gems and just slowing down to take it all in...

That's the real magic of European travel, for sure.

One of the oldest churches in Bergamo Alta, with this beautiful chapel I discovered down a flight of stairs below the main floor, thanks to an unlocked door in the empty, unstaffed building.

Gelato - of course

The main square in Bergamo Alta

A military history museum, located on one corner of the high walls of the citadel.

I definitely will return here. In fact, I've already discussed it with my glorious crew from my Ireland tour last fall - including several foodies who I bonded with immediately... I want to replicate this trip we did, with a few things out and a few other things added in. Trial and error. But with this trip, nothing was an error. And just maybe I'll get to relive that glorious meal once more, simply in watching the faces of the others getting to experience it for the first time...

I'm sure I'll manage to enjoy a few bites, too. :P